Saturday, March 17, 2012

The Love Dare - Day 5

We've gotten a bit behind in our Love Dare, having to take a few days off. But we are still plugging away. Day 5 really got to us (me?) and created some tension. Here it is:

Ask your spouse to tell you three things that cause him or her to be uncomfortable or irritated with you. You must do so without attacking them or justifying your behavior. This is from their perspective only. The words from the mouth of a wise man are gracious (Ecclesiastes 10:12)

James and I had differing conceptions of what type of things should be used as the three examples. I picked three very concrete actions or behaviors in a specific scenario. He chose some overarching behavioral traits. I got upset (just like I wasn't supposed to, I know). My introvertedness is a sensitive spot with me. I don't like to think of it as a flaw, and I don't like when extoverts think that shyness is a moral failing. Now, that's a seperate post in and of itself, but my real point is that I became piqued and allowed that to interfere in the joy of our Love Dare exercise. James was very gracious and apologized. He's been doing that a lot lately. It's a startling thing to realize that for years you've had a false sense of pride - that YOU were the more mature, kinder, more considerate person. This Love Dare is about marriage and our relationship, but I'm learning more about ME and me alone than I would have ever imagined, when we started this.