Thursday, March 8, 2012

The Love Dare - Day 3

Whatever you put your time, energy, and money into will become more important to you. It's hard to care for something you are not investing in. Along with restraining from negative comments, buy your spouse something that says, "I was thinking of you today." Where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there is disorder (James 3:16)

Things are getting harder. I think I may have pushed the envelope with God by feeling like this thing was too easy. As of tonight I feel a bit like Mario dodging bullets and flying fish and those flying egg thingies from that weird dinosaur on SMB2 (my personal fave). The kids are on an absolute roll. Man on man. I'm about ready to throw in the towel as a parent. And, as much as I'd like it NOT to, it certainly carries over into how pleasant, loving, patient, and kind I am to my spouse. For James I think this dare was easy - he showed up at lunchtime with both a Diet Coke (pretty standard) AND a Green Tea Frappucino-No Whip from Starbucks for me (totally not standard - he hates how expensive things are from SB). I wasn't feeling enough love to venture to the store with the kids though, so I had to wait until the evening, when we picked up the kids from Awana. James got his favorite, two packages of Reese's Peanut Butter Cups. The man is easy to please. Before you get to each particular dare, there's some very well-written thoughts to read about the subject matter. Day 3 was about selfishishness, or the opposite of love. I am a selfish person. It's a deep problem within me and one that I need to work on continually and constantly. I've given into the popular mantra that I must take care of ME before I can take of anyone else. That's a load of horse poopy. It really is. Gooey, sticky self-absorbed manure. I feel best, most peaceful, and happiest when my family's needs are taken care of. In the short term, oh I absolutely would rather read a book or surf the web or take a nap instead of taking care of others. But the end result is always the same - guilt and self-loathing. I think taking care of myself is accomplished first and foremost by meeting the needs of others. Then I can actually, truly enjoy the short moments of time I have to spend doing things pleasurable to me. 10 minutes of reading at night when my house is clean, my kids were well-fed a healthy, homemade meal, my work is caught-up, and my husband is sleeping soundly is worth much more than an hour of reading that kept me from tackling the things that needed to be done. I'm glad that The Love Dare provided me with a much-needed reminder that Love is not selfish.


Mom said...

From what I have ever seen you do take care of the family before yourself. It is ok to have a day once and a while foryourself. It's ok not to get the dusting done. It still will be there tomorrow, I've given up on the dust fairies coming in the middle of the night, lol!