I feel like I just took a nasty tumble down a hill. I feel battered and bruised. I feel disoriented and agitated. Worst of all, I feel heartsore. I just keep reminding myself - the Church is a a human enterprise. It is not perfect, and people make mistakes. And that does soothe somewhat, but mostly I'm praying hard for renewed peace and comfort (man, I think I have my prayer for comfort on speed dial to the Lord this year). I know that God alone is the answer, and yesterday was a night of intensive reflection, discussion, and prayer, and I'm sure the rest of the week will continue to be.
My husband and I are in the minority. We are first and foremost Christians. But after that, we are Liberals. Politically we tend to align with the Democratic party more often than not. I don't think that's a surprise for anyone who's read my blog for any length of time. I try to keep politics to a minimum here, because, quite frankly, I'm old school. I don't believe it's polite to drag my politics out and air my political laundry, so to speak, in public. I'm not ashamed, no, not at all. I've come to those beliefs through deep conversation with my Lord and through study of the Word. But in this Facebook age, politics have turned into a zero-sum game. People of like minds rile each other up and whip themselves into a frenzy (and this happens on either side of the aisle). In the process they too often trample on basic decency. In this great country, no person should be made to feel as if they are "less than" because they vote for a different candidate. And that goes a thousand-fold for Christians. Christian faith and the GOP are not a twofer. They do NOT go hand and hand. I could give many reasons why I personally feel that my faith leads me to vote Democrat. But that's not what this is about, because I'm not here to convert anyone, politically. Quite frankly, politics aren't that important (and that's coming from someone who is passionate about her personal politics). Following a particularly brutal presidential election, to be in the sanctuary of my church sanctuary (was there ever a truer double-meaning word?) was balm for the battered soul. I know that I vote differently from most of my church family. But, at the end of the day, they are my church family and the bonds of shared faith in Jesus Christ and the task to which we are all committed far outweigh the checkmark I make on a ballot once a year. But that all changed yesterday. Yesterday we started out by singing Joy to the World. Isn't the Advent and Christmas season the most wonderful time of the year, hymn-wise? Those songs just make the heart overfull with gladness. But after that I felt like I'd been transported from a church sanctuary to a political rally. It started with the speaker, but then the electricity travelled to the congregation. At one point there was thunderous applause over a line about wanting Obamacare repealed. In my church, on Sunday, during the Sunday School hour. I felt bullied, looked at with contempt, and utterly unwelcome. I had a hard time keeping it together. The claps and smiles felt like a hundred pinpricks to my heart. You see, the Affordable Care Act is the very reason I voted FOR Obama. As someone who's had to pray that a head wound on her child really wasn't deep enough to necessitate an ER visit because we simply could not afford it, I feel strongly about the morality of providing access to affordable medical care. As someone who has to actively prevent having another baby because there is no true maternity benefit available amongst private insurance plans in the state of Idaho and we can't afford to pay the cost out-of-pocket and will not take government assistance, I know that it's not as simple as "if you work full time, you'll have insurance - only the lazy or irresponsible don't have employer-based insurance" (neither of James' jobs offer health insurance and I'm self-employed, so we have private insurance). And then I think of my mother. She developed an extremely complex health condition in her late 30s that led to multiple hospitalizations and horrendous hospital bills. Thankfully my Dad has been employed by the Post Office since I was a young girl, so they had good insurance, but if he'd lost or left his job, they'd have been completely uninsurable. Furthermore, the health condition does have a genetic component, and I can't help but think, as I'm just a few years away from the age at which Mom was diagnosed, what if it happens to me? Few jobs are "career" jobs anymore. That's just not how the current job market works. The ACA provides the protection of guaranteed insurance availability for those with preexisting conditions. Someday, that provision might save my family from total ruin. And it's saving someone elses family from total financial ruin right now. So, the ACA is near and dear to my heart. As I followed my husband out of the sanctuary at a near-run, seeing those broadly smiling faces, each loud clap felt like a sucker punch to the gut. Politics is personal. Each of us have a story to tell, but more importantly an inherent value and dignity as a Son or Daughter of the King. Political affiliation doesn't change that. We all, with our differing history, perspective, strengths, and gifts, weave into a tapestry that is much larger than any one individual, and we are all, every one of us, equally precious to our Maker. At this point, I'm just grateful that I didn't chose this Sunday to bring a family we're working on witnessing to to church. I credit God's leading there, because my testimony for a long time has been that MY church preaches true faith and a sacrificial, active love relationship with God that demands much but gives back one hundred fold. But that wasn't the order of this Sunday. This Sunday was about cultural christianity, which is exactly what so many non-Christian Americans are running from as hard and fast as they can. God is faithful and God is good. He will find us a way through this. I don't know what the end result will be, but it will be what God wills. We will pray for wisdom, discernment, peace, and God's hand on us this week, and certainly would appreciate any prayers anyone else might have to offer for us.
