Wednesday, April 18, 2012

A Reoccuring Theme

It's been a low week and a half. I can't even pinpoint the major cause - I think it's the combination of a dozen or more small things. I'm also starting to realize, as I go longer without being pregnant than I have since I was 19 (crazy to think, although I'm not quite there yet - I didn't get pregnant with Colin until Ian was 2.5 years old), that I'm started to be more effected by regular female hormones. I don't like feeling controlled by the hormonal roller coaster, especially without the buffer of pregnancy, when people forgive you for being a little bit crazy. I have a feeling I'm really not going to like the process of getting old as it relates specifically to being a woman. Philosophical things have been weighing heavily on my heart and I want to get it out in a blog post, but the words aren't quite coalescing in the way I want them to. Maybe next week, after we get a breather from all of this crazy figure-skating competition stuff, God will help me assemble the words that are all sitting in my heart. And speaking of stress, forget the girls and the pressure on them to actually go out there and compete - I'm feeling so much of it I'm almost ready to climb into a cave for the duration! I think I stress because it's so expensive and I have such high expectations for an appropriate return on our investment. But I know that's not a right mindset to have either, because I don't want to turn into a scary stage mom. Ack, this parenting older kids stuff is hard. Gimme poopy diapers and messy highchairs, I think!


The Fifes said...

Thinking of you Melissa! Soon enough and I'll be right there with you on parenting older kids. I can't imagine how tough it must be. Brian and I are convinced we are going to be the most uncool, strict parents ever.

Mom said...

Oh Hon. This is normal hormonal problem that women have to deal with at a time when the kids are having their own hormonal adjustment issues. It's completely normal problem that all women have to face that can make you feel like your losing your own mind. This too shall pass!

Serena said...

Hmmmm.... a bold stand for Christ is often followed by greater attack from the enemy isn't it?! It can take so many forms: doubts, discontentment, lack of joy, irritability, etc. Your family's testimony in church was so encouraging to me personally. I'll be praying for you, James and the kids. Stay strong and God bless!