It's been a low week and a half. I can't even pinpoint the major cause - I think it's the combination of a dozen or more small things. I'm also starting to realize, as I go longer without being pregnant than I have since I was 19 (crazy to think, although I'm not quite there yet - I didn't get pregnant with Colin until Ian was 2.5 years old), that I'm started to be more effected by regular female hormones. I don't like feeling controlled by the hormonal roller coaster, especially without the buffer of pregnancy, when people forgive you for being a little bit crazy. I have a feeling I'm really not going to like the process of getting old as it relates specifically to being a woman. Philosophical things have been weighing heavily on my heart and I want to get it out in a blog post, but the words aren't quite coalescing in the way I want them to. Maybe next week, after we get a breather from all of this crazy figure-skating competition stuff, God will help me assemble the words that are all sitting in my heart. And speaking of stress, forget the girls and the pressure on them to actually go out there and compete - I'm feeling so much of it I'm almost ready to climb into a cave for the duration! I think I stress because it's so expensive and I have such high expectations for an appropriate return on our investment. But I know that's not a right mindset to have either, because I don't want to turn into a scary stage mom. Ack, this parenting older kids stuff is hard. Gimme poopy diapers and messy highchairs, I think!