Lately I've had a LOT of extra time for philosophical ponderings, as I'm up for the majority of the night (thank you, baby). I've been thinking about what has compelled me to continue to have children well after most couples have called it good. I think it's a part of God's plan to transform me into a better person. I'm extremely competitive and very materialistic. I always have been. It's a dangerous personality trait. On the one hand I don't think there's anything intrinsically bad with appreciating beauty and quality, but it's SO easy to get caught up in the whole consumption lifestyle. The plain fact of the matter is that with almost five children we can have some of the little luxuries I like, but not all. And I think that's a very good thing. I've learned to differentiate between needs and wants and I think that's key. As long as you recognize that another handbag or a luxury car is just a want and not a necessity I think it is easier to have perspective. Of course there are lots of reasons that I love having so many kids, but it was nice to think about what THEY are bringing ME, instead of the usual thoughts of my huge responsibility to my children. And just for some comic relief after that somber "thought of the day" - here is a picture of Colin playing with Desitin (it's so hard to clean up), the boys hanging out together, and Rory, who obviously leads a difficult life, huh?