Last First

Last month we celebrated our "last" First Birthday. It's kind of a bittersweet moment. It's also impossible to believe that Elle is one! She talks a lot and stands, but no cruising or walking yet. That doesn't bother me in the slightest - I know it will come and I'm enjoying the fact that she seems more babylike than a walker. I also can't believe that we are still breastfeeding! It's nominal at this point, once or twice a day, but I still count it. We originally had intended to do a small backyard barbeque at our house, but with temperatures predicted to be in the 90s, we decided to move the party over to James' parents house so that they kids could swim. We enjoyed dinner, presents, swimming, and, of course, birthday cake. We were surprised that Elle wasn't overly enthused with her smash cake. She was uninterested for the most part, and it took her a good five minutes to even touch it at all. We have a long video of her with the cake, that is, quire frankly, rather dull. Who would've thought? Colin and Cecily did fabulous jobs on their cakes, and Elinor is a fantastic eater in general, so I wasn't expecting the birthday cake ennui she showed LOL.

July as a whole absolutely flew by. It felt like it was over before it had begun. Hero finished up swim team and James and I started our new lifestyle, but more to come about that in another post. It's kind of frightening how time passes you by. I must be in a meditative mood today LOL. It's probably due to all the sad, depressing news that comes out every day - I want to stick my fingers in my ears and hum loudly like a little child. Not the most mature response, I know, but to fully contemplate everything that is happening can fill you with hopelessness and despair. I worry about my children's future - a LOT. All parents do, of course, but the world seems like a scarier place than it ever was as long as I can remember. I suppose all one can do is take care of their own, help others whenever possible, and pray, pray, pray.

Elinor's 1st Year in Review

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12th Birthday Girl!

12 years ago, I started my journey as a mother.

To My Firstborn Child~
I get so many things wrong, big and small, every day. But I get the biggest thing right. I love you with every fiber of my being and I delight in watching you become your own person. I pray that I am able to provide you with the guidance, support, and inspiration that will sustain you through the journey from child to young woman. Have patience with me, for just as you don't quite know how to become the adult you are on the long path to becoming, I'm not quite sure how to navigate the murky depths of parenting an adolescent. But we'll make it through and hopefully someday we can have the same deep, abiding friendship that I, another firstborn daughter, have with my own mom. I love you, my glorious, stubborn, smart, responsible, complicated, beautiful Hero.

Bad Mommy

Now that Elle is more mobile, she spends a bit of time each day in "Baby Jail". I feel vaguely like this makes me a bad mommy. Especially since she likes to climb right up to the side, like a depressed zoo monkey, and stare at me. Ah well, just one more list to add to the reason why I'm a terrible parent, right? LOL Actually, it's kind of a rocking place -it's two superyards put together, about 5 ft by 5 ft, full of baby-safe toys. Better than a playpen, at least. I'm just wondering how long it's going to contain Cecily. As long as it last through the end of this year, I think that'll be a good thing.

Independence Day

As I wrote my title, I realized, that, in a corny way, Independence Day, was the perfect (albeit coincidental) way to describe Elle's LAST 1st holiday (sniff sniff). We spent the Fourth finishing up some chores, early in the morning, and then eating, swimming, and doing fireworks late into the night. Cecily suffered a sparkler burn (I hate sparklers with a passion - always have, always will), and James and I suffered from being too old to be up that late, but other than that it was fine. My fave part? Probably the homemade ice cream. I'm a sucker for homemade ice cream. This is why we cannot have an ice-cream maker at home. I would have zero self-control.

Why Do I Do This To Myself?

Sometimes, if I'm feeling bored and looking for entertainment, I'll click on the Next Blog button, just to get a glimpse into people's lives. It's kind of like looking through front windows at night when you are driving around - a guilty pleasure of mine. Oh great, now I've outed myself as a peeping tom LOL. I should learn not to do that, though, because in the blog world everyone lives a perfect little life with their perfect home and perfect family. I have to keep reminding myself that the content people put on their blog is selective, and many people only want to advertise the positive aspects of their lives - much like a Christmas letter. But sometimes it makes me feel so inadequate. Whether it's a blog showing people who are put-together every moment of every day fashion-wise, dedicated to healthy eating, super duper crafty, or amazing photographers who chronicle every moment of their babies lives in soft focus with appropriate backdrops - I am so far from that that it can be hard not to get down on myself. It's so easy to get stuck on the "surface", and just when I think I've matured a little, I find that old, jealous me coming back. I wonder if this is my particular cross to bear throughout life? (((sigh))) Ah well, onward I trudge... For my first weight loss update since I got back on the wagon - I'm down 1.8lbs this week (still 3lbs above my low for the year). We didn't do a fabulous job exercising every morning, but we did get some days in, so I'm going to try and be more optimistic and think some is better than none. Now, for the random pictures, can I just say - as a mom, I have a love/hate relationship with spaghetti.

BBG

Beautiful Baby Girls, that is! I'm totally biased, but gosh darn if they aren't the cutest little things? I love how they are opposites, it just makes it more fun. It'll be interesting to see if they are personality opposites, as Elinor gets older. Can I admit I'm secretly hoping for that? Ceci can be rather intense, and I wouldn't mind just one more easy-going child. Otherwise, I have a feelings, the battles between these two will be epic. I'm setting myself up for trouble with the matching outfits as they get older and closer in size, no? I can just hear the "twins" questions - especially since I used to get that with Hero and Allegra and they are two and a half years apart. I even heard that a month ago with Ian and Colin, who are three and a half years apart!